I recently asked my friends’ little girl what she wanted to be when she grows up. She said she wanted to be President some day. Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, ‘If you were President what would be the first thing you would do? ‘

She replied, ‘I’d give food and houses to all the homeless people.’

Her parents beamed.

‘Wow…what a worthy goal.’ I told her, ‘But you don’t have to wait until you’re President to do that.. You can come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull weeds, and rake my yard, and I’ll pay you $50.

Then I’ll take you over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward food and a new house. ‘

She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, ‘ Why doesn’t the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50?

I said, ‘Welcome to the Republican Party.’

Her parents still aren’t speaking to me.

That’s a keeper.

UPDATE: Seems not to work in IE for me, if that’s the case for you, just click here.

A Taiwanese man became a sitting target for a snake, which bit his penis as he sat on the toilet at his rural home, local media reported today.

“As soon as he sat down, he suddenly felt a knife-like pain and reacted instinctively by standing up,” the China Times said. “When he looked down, he saw the big snake.”

There, now don’t you feel better?

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