Archive for the 'Entertainment' Category

Shelled out $8.50 for this piece of crap tonight. I’m having a hard time trying to determine if this was worse than Daredevil or not. Or the Hulk, for that matter.

*****WARNING – SPOILERS BELOW*******

Where to start on this two hours of my life that I’ll never be able to get back? I guess firstly I’ll say that Michael Chiklis did a fine acting job, despite the fact that his suit didn’t really look right to me. Other than that, there wasn’t much else to the film.

The film seemed to spend all but the last ten minutes or so establishing back story and the interpersonal relationships between the characters. Booooooooring. I know a certain amount of back story is necessary for those who never read the comic book, but it doesn’t take an hour and fifty minutes. Well, it did, but it shouldn’t.

And Susan Storm wasn’t a scientist, she was an actress. They REALLY strayed from the comic, it was all wrong. And plot holes? So large, you’d think The Thing used both fists. Who wrote this thing? Not to mention the directing. My favorite part was when they were on the bridge, and a large spectacle was made of Sue trying to become invisible because she’s the only one that would be able to get through the police barrier. Next thing you know, they’re all past the police barrier, and no explanation of how they all got there, it just happened.

Oh, and then there’s The Thing’s transformation back into The Thing after being “cured”. They went to great lengths to point out that Ben wasn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer, but he somehow managed to reverse the effects of the machine that cured him, all on his own while the other three were fighting Doom?

Lastly, the effects were mostly terrible. The Torch looked good, but Mr. Fantastic’s stretching scenes looked really bad.

If you haven’t seen this stinker yet, save your money. It’s starting to look like Hollywood is either running out of ideas, or just doesn’t care anymore. With crap like this, and rehashes of The Dukes of Hazzard, Willy Wonka, The Bad News Bears, The Honeymooners, and who knows what else, it’s no wonder movie profits are in a downward spiral.

I may have to go see Batman Begins again, just to cleanse my senses.

There is a local theater chain here that has become the only one I will go to. There are a few reasons for this:

1. They serve beer and food during the movie.
2. They do not allow any children under the age of six.

Good enough in my book. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve gone to national chain theaters (Cinemark, Regal, etc.) and had to sit near a couple (or family, if they’ve brought their two year old also) who decided it would be a good idea to bring their six week old baby to the 10:30 showing of the latest 80 decibel action flick. And then wonder why the baby was crying when the movie started. And then didn’t take it out of the theater. Assholes. Who obviously wouldn’t pass the parenthood test I’ve been proposing to my Senators and Representative. Oddly enough, they haven’t gotten back to me on that. But I digress.

I have a stack of free movie passes for said local theater chain. I have yet to see the new Star Wars movie, and decided that tonight would be an opportune time. However, it’s not playing at the theater nearest me, but the one about five minutes further away in the other direction. So, I go there, with my pass.

Now, I have used these passes at this theater before, but tonight, I was told that my free pass would not be accepted, it was only good at the theater nearest me. Both theaters are owned by the same guy, who I’ll call “Tim”. Ok, that’s his actual name, so that’s what I call him. But they won’t take the passes I have at the ticket window. The ticket guy suggests I go inside and ask for a manager if I wish to further argue my case. Which I do.

The manager shows up. He reminds me of Michael Stipe. But after he started looking like heroin was the only item on the menu. Short, skinny, and tattoos everywhere. And the sixties glasses. He was probably a vegan. Those people really need to experience a steak. Get some protein in your system, folks. Anyway, he tells me that he has been instructed (by whom he does not divulge) not to accept the pass that I am carrying.

So, there I am, with a pass in my hand that is only accepted at ONE of the theaters in the chain (of which there are four in this city, all owned by the same guy, you know, Tim). Now, if they had just said Ok and given me a ticket, I would have spent $21.84 during the course of the movie, which is what four Heinekens and a large popcorn will run you there. But, they chose not to let me in, so they lost out on that revenue. Just because the pass is only good at one of the four theaters Tim owns.

Just out of principle, I decide not to pay for the movie. I’ll see it elsewhere. But since that is the only movie older than two weeks showing there, I had no other option to see a free movie. So I drive to the theater that is slightly closer to me (where they will take my pass) and look over the movie menu. The movies that I can see with a pass do not interest me.

I decided to go drinking instead, and ended up at a karaoke bar. Where I sing a rather stunning rendition of “Fly Me to the Moon”. And the bartender was so drunk, she only charged me for half the beers I drank. So all in all, things seemed to have worked out.

Sometime later this week, I’ll go to a late show of Star Wars at a national chain. Hopefully, the people with the babies have already seen it, and will be watching something else instead.

They’re at it again. The fetus complaining about jalapenos wasn’t racy enough for them, so they’re actually going to air the spot they shot with Paris Hilton washing a Bentley (and herself) while wearing a skimpy little black swimsuit. Previously, it was considered too pornographic for TV, but I guess someone had a change of heart.

They’re quite controversial these days, but damn, do they make a good burger.

Ok, they’re actually million pound boobs (she’s English) but million pound boobs just doesn’t sound quite right.

“I’ve worked enough to be able to fail the rest of my life. And that’s what I’m going to do.” – George Lucas

 Ah, the American Dream is still alive…