Wow, this guy is awesome. I wish we had some Republicans here with the set this guy’s got. Seems like things are just as bad in the UK as they are here. Take his speech, substitute Obama for Brown and the US for the UK, and you’ve got a pretty accurate portrayal of this side of the pond as well.
Monthly Archive for March, 2009
Just testing, nothing to see here. Move along.
You know, it took 230 years to get our national debt up to $10 trillion. Obama’s going to double it in under 10. We’re screwed.
Last week was my birthday and I didn’t feel very well waking up on that morning..
I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, ‘Happy Birthday!’, and possibly have a small present for me. As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone ‘ Happy Birthday.’
I thought…. Well, that’s marriage for you, but the kids… They will remember. My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn’t say a word..
So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent. As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said, ‘Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday ! ‘
It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered. I worked until one o’clock , when Jane knocked on my door and said, ‘You know, It’s such a beautiful day outside, and it is your Birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch, just you and me..’ I said, ‘Thanks, Jane, that’s the greatest thing I’ve heard all day. Let’s go !’
We went to lunch. But we didn’t go where we normally would go.She chose instead at a quiet bistro with a private table. We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously. On the way back to the office, Jane said, ‘You know, It’s such a beautiful day… We don’t need to go straight back to the office, Do We ?’
I responded, ‘I guess not. What do you have in mind ?’ She said, ‘Let’s drop by my apartment, it’s just around the corner.’
After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said,’ Boss, if you don’t mind, I’m going to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I’ll be right back.’ ‘Ok.’ I nervously replied.
She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake …
Followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing ‘Happy Birthday’.
And I just sat there….
On the couch…
And it has two hot chicks making out, too. If you’re into that kind of thing.
Helping out Rebel.
Here’s something interesting. Bill Gates has banned all Apple products in his house. But the wife has her eyes on an iPhone.
Microsoft founder head Bill Gates has banned the use of products made by arch-rival Apple from his house, his wife has revealed. But the blockade could backfire on Gates, 53, after Melinda admitted there are times she feels envious of her friends’ iPhones. She told Vogue magazine that the couple’s three children Jennifer, 13, Rory, 10 and Phoebe, seven, are not allowed Apple products. ‘There are very few things that are on the banned list in our household,’ she said.
‘But iPods and iPhones are two things we don’t get for our kids.’ Like any forbidden fruit, however, Mrs Gates, 44, admitted that some Apple products do have the power to tempt her. ‘Every now and then I look at my friends and say ‘Ooh, I wouldn’t mind having that iPhone,’ she admitted.
Then she realizes that’s it’s probably better not to piss off the billionaire that she managed to marry, and shuts the fuck up.