Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.
Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.
Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.
Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both Presidents were shot in the head.
Now it gets really weird.
Lincoln’s secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy’s Secretary was named Lincoln.
Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.
Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.
John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.
Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are composed of fifteen letters.
Now hang on to your seat.
Lincoln was shot at the theater named ‘Ford.’
Kennedy was shot in a car called ‘Lincoln‘ made by ‘Ford.’
Lincoln was shot in a theater and his assassin ran and hid in a warehouse.
Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and his assassin ran and hid in a theater.
Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.
And here’s the kicker…
A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe, Maryland
A week before Kennedy was shot, he was in Marilyn Monroe.
Published on
2005/10/19 in
Humor.
I should be able to play next week’s game, no problem.
One strike. That’s all we needed. Just one strike, and we were in the World Series. For the first time ever. But no, Brad Lidge had to give up a three run dinger to Pujols instead.
The only consolation is that Oswalt is pitching on Wednesday.
Go Astros!
Not only was it a very good song by The Cure:
My body is cut and broken
It’s shattered and sore
My body is cut wide open
I can’t stand anymore
It tortures me to move my hands
To try to move at all
And pulled
My skin so tight it screams
And screams and screams
And screams for more
It’s now a national debate in the halls of Congress. And it’s gettting a lot of press. Here’s one headline:
Bush White House declares torture vital to US security policy
and here’s another:
The Bush Era Ends: Only Nine Senators Vote to Torture More Prisoners
Perhaps someone should inform Deborah White that the next POTUS won’t take office until January 2009, so the Bush era isn’t quite over just yet.
This is all just a big misunderstanding. The liberal media is saying that the White House is pro-torture. That’s not it at all. They just support the interrogator’s right to choose. They’re just pro-choice. And who on the left wouldn’t support the right to choose?
Or at least, she’d like you to believe as much:
Actress Paris Hilton, the heir of the Hilton fortune, is going incognito trying to avoid the press after she broke off her engagement with her fianc
Kind of makes him sound like a daredevil.
Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez, a frequent critic of the Bush administration, said Wednesday he is looking forward to sitting down with the American leader at a summit in Argentina next month.
Both leaders plan to attend the Summit of the Americas, and Chavez said he understood they would be seated at the same table.
“That summit is going to be really good if that gentlemen goes, if Mr. Danger goes,” Chavez said in a speech.
In unrelated news, the Bush administration has hired Pat Robertson as an attache to the summit.
Having a baby is usually a wonderful experience for a new father. Unless it turns out that it’s not yours, of course.
NEW YORK - Chris Cagle was excited about becoming a first-time dad, only to learn after the baby was born that he isn’t the father.
In a posting on his Web site that asks for privacy, Cagle told fans: “As many of you are aware, I had been anxiously awaiting the addition of a new baby to my life. The baby has been born and both mother and child are in good health.
“Since the birth, however, we have discovered that biologically, the child is not mine.”
Ouch! That’s gotta suck.
Published on
2005/10/06 in
Idiots.
The Dems’ front man, Howard Dean, actually had this exchange on Hardball with Chris Matthews:
MATTHEWS: Do you believe that the president can claim executive privilege?
DEAN: Well, certainly the president can claim executive privilege. But in the this case, I think with a lifetime appointment to the Supreme Court, you can’t play, you know, hide the salami, or whatever it’s called.
Hmmm, the POTUS playing “hide the salami”… I guess he thinks Bill Clinton is still in the White House. What a buffoon.
Hat Tip: Sondra K
I heard about the looting during the Katrina disaster, but when you go into a store where people are looting, you generally don’t expect to see the police looting as well.
If you can’t count on police to not break the law in your community, you should probably consider a new community.
