Monthly Archive for August, 2005


It seems Katrina has racked up quite a bit of damage. New Orleans is basically underwater, and lower Mississippi isn’t doing much better. Our thoughts and prayers will be with the victims and their families. If you would like to help out, here are some links:

Red Cross

The Salvation Army

Wal-Mart is linking to both on their website, and has already donated $1 million to the cause. Feel free to post any other reputable relief organizations in the comments.


Is It Just Me?

Or is the cop firing some sort of donut gun?

Donut Gun

They’re Here

Last night, the wife went to a PTL meeting. I was assured this was related to some school activity, and had nothing to do with anything even remotely related to Jim and Tammy Faye Baker. While she was away, I had the responsibility of putting Evilwhiteboy #1 to bed.

I was embroiled in that process, and had just asked him to pick out his second of three bedtime stories before going to sleep. We were lying in his bed, and I was just about to begin reading the book, when he said, “Daddy, who is that?” and pointed down the hall.

My first thought was that someone was in the house who needed to feel the sting of some transplanted Texas “he needed killing” justice. However, when I looked down the hall, there was no one there. At that point, I was thinking the intruder had ducked into another room, having seen us, and not wanting to be discovered. I asked the boy to show me where he had seen the person. He walked me out into the hall just outside the bedroom and stopped. I asked him where this person went, and he said that “he disappeared”.

Now my blood was really pumping. I searched all the upstairs rooms to no avail. A further search of the rest of the house turned up nothing either, and all the doors and windows were still in tact. At this point, I decided to question my son a little further.

He still calls everyone by the masculine descriptors, so even women and girls are “he” and “him”. I asked the boy if it was a girl or boy, and he said it was a girl, and he was able to describe her in some detail, including hair color and length. At that point, I was fairly certain that there was no intruder. However, the fact that my son saw a woman walking down the hall who just disappeared was a little unsettling. He’s not the type of person to just make something like that up. He seems to have inherited my sense of attention to detail, and will argue seemingly minute points just like his daddy (sorry about that, sweetie, it’s just in my genes).

So now I’m left to wonder what exactly it was he saw. I personally have never seen a ghost, and don’t necessarily believe in them, but after last night, all bets are off. Granted, I didn’t see anything, but that doesn’t mean that the boy didn’t. As I said, that’s not something he would just make up.

And earlier today, the wife took said boy north to visit the grandparents and cousins for the weeked, leaving me to fend for myself. In this possibly haunted house.

I’m feeling a little freaked out right about now. It might just be time to get nicely, um, “medicated”.

What A Nuthouse

I just spent three hours in line at a book signing. But it was worth it. I got Bruce Campbell to autograph my copy of “If Chins Could Kill” and one of my copies of “Army of Darkness”. The latter was signed with a white marker, which apparently takes a few minutes to dry. Bruce’s instructions were to “Keep your grubby mitts off of it”.

Whenever I find my scanner, I’ll do a scan and post up a photo.

That was so cool. It’s not everyday you get to shake Bruce Campbell’s hand.

Just Thinking

If you had a butler, and she was a female, would she be butless?

Well, That Explains It

With all the protesting going on down in Crawford right about now, I’ve been wondering why Michael Moore hasn’t shown up to shoot off his mouth. Well, turns out he’s checked himself into a fat farm down in Florida.

I guess that’s good news for the fat farm. With the hurricane that’s about to blow through there, he should be instrumental in preventing any building he’s in from blowing away.

Free Blackberry Update

Turns out you can get one from NTB as well. And not just the crappy 7100 model nobody wants.

Wonder what else they’re giving away Blackberries with?

You Know Your Sales Are Hurting When…

You resort to giving away your Blackberry phones with the purchase of a pizza, a side dish, and some soda.

And Now, A Joke From The Evilwhiteguy Mailbag

When Osama bin Laden died, he was met at the Pearly Gates by George Washington, who slapped him across the face and yelled, “How dare you try to destroy the nation I helped conceive!”

Patrick Henry approached, punched him in the nose and shouted, “You wanted to end our liberties but you failed.”

James Madison followed, kicked him in the groin and said, “This is why I allowed our government to provide for the common defense!”

Thomas Jefferson was next, beat Osama with a long cane and snarled, “It was evil men like you who inspired me to write the Declaration of Independence.”

The beatings and thrashings continued as George Mason, James Monroe and 66 other early Americans unleashed their anger on the  terrorist leader.

As Osama lay bleeding and in pain, an Angel appeared. Bin Laden wept and said, “This is not what you promised me.”

The Angel replied, “I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you in Heaven. What did you think I said?”

Blessed Are The Assasins

In a dogmatic sense, Christians are generally peaceful people. You know, Crusades, Inquistions, and witch burnings aside. Jesus taught such concepts as love thy neighbor and do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

So when Pat Robertson, one of the most recognizable names in American Christendom, comes out and says that we should assasinate the President of Venezuela, it just seems a little weird to me.

“If he thinks we’re trying to assassinate him, I think that we really ought to go ahead and do it,” Robertson told viewers on his “The 700 Club” show Monday. “It’s a whole lot cheaper than starting a war.”

“We have the ability to take him out, and I think the time has come that we exercise that ability,” Robertson said. “We don’t need another $200 billion war to get rid of one strong-arm dictator. It’s a whole lot easier to have some of the covert operatives do the job and then get it over with.”

I would say that maybe he’s off his meds, but that sounds quite a bit like our policy on Castro not that long ago…