In my rush to get to work today, I completely forgot to bring anything to eat with me to the office. Of course, that didn’t occur to me until I was starving for some lunchime grub. Hmmm, no food to eat. A quick survey of my pockets revealed that I had neglected to bring any cash along, either. I didn’t even have enough change to get some Zingers (mmmm…Zingers) from the vending machine.
Looking through my desk for something edible didn’t produce any satisfying results, either. A few ketchup packets and some hot sauce from Taco Bell. Not exactly filling. So I decided maybe a large intake of dyhydrogen monoxide might somewhat dampen my hunger pains until
Bwah. I’ve found myself in the same situation several times … no food, no money, and a desk full of ketchup. Unfortunately, we have no donations for the needy, so I usually just take a big whiff of an E. coli culture or something, which takes my appetite away for a good hour or so. Repeat as necessary.
Now that’s the action of an evil conservative. I hope you intend to replace those donations.
Too tame. You could have gone to a local schoolyard and taken some kid’s lunch money.