Monthly Archive for December, 2004

The French Have An Army Knife, Too

Where’s Kofi?

I have been hearing criticism for days because George Bush remained at his ranch after the devastation in Asia. However, Kofi Annan just today cut his vacation short to return to New York to head up UN relief efforts. However, I haven’t really heard any criticism of him.


Odd.

Gun Control Doesn’t Reduce Crime

Tell me it isn’t so!


WASHINGTON – While it is an article of faith among gun-control proponents that government restrictions on firearms reduces violence and crime, two new U.S. studies could find no evidence to support such a conclusion.

The National Academy of Sciences issued a 328-page report based on 253 journal articles, 99 books, 43 government publications, a survey of 80 different gun-control laws and some of its own independent study. In short, the panel could find no link between restrictions on gun ownership and lower rates of crime, firearms violence or even accidents with guns.


The panel was established during the Clinton administration and all but one of its members were known to favor gun control.


That had to chap their hides. A bunch of gun control freaks who can’t prove that gun control lowers crime, despite their best efforts. They could have saved themselves some trouble and just read John Lott’s book.

Where There’s Corruption…

Follow the money Clinton staffers. Fannie Mae, as you may have heard, is having some financial problems. It would seem they have been cooking the books, Enron-style.


The Securities and Exchange Commission recently agreed with Fannie Mae’s financial regulator, the Office of Federal Housing Enterprise Oversight, that the company misused accounting standards.

Earnings will be restated for 3-1/2 years, resulting in multibillion shortfalls. The company, now below its minimum capital requirement, had already agreed to boost its capital to 30 percent above the minimum by the middle of 2005 because of the accounting controversy.

Fannie Mae Chief Executive Franklin Raines and Chief Financial Officer Timothy Howard stepped down on Dec. 21 after regulators exposed the accounting errors that will force the massive earnings restatement.


I find it odd that this isn’t splashed everywhere like Enron was. Then again, Enron was an energy company in Houston, Fannie Mae is not. And it might surprise you to know that Fannie Mae has a Vice Chairman who’s name you might recognize. Jamie Gorelick. Yes, the same Jamie Gorelick who had no business being on the 9/11 Commission, and the same Jamie Gorelick, who as a deputy attorney general under Clinton, penned the famous memo segregating the FBI and the CIA. The same Jamie Gorelick who’s law firm, Wilmer, Cutler, Pickering, Hale & Dorr, did a substantial amount of legal work for Fannie Mae.


And the same Jamie Gorelick who stepped down from her post as Vice-Chairman not that long ago. I’m very interested to see what part she might have played in this mess.

Marlon Brando Sued For Sexual Harassment

Marlon Brando’s former business manager, Jo An Corrales, is suing Brando for $3.5M, alleging sexual harassment.


Brando, apparently still dead, could not be reached for comment.

Poker Night

Sometimes, the “girl’s night out” poker game turns into a strip poker game. And what would that look like, you ask?
It would look like this.
Disclaimer: Warning! NSFW! No complaining after you’ve already clicked on it.

It Happened

You hear of things like this, and you think to yourself, “That only happens to other guys, not me.” You see the commercials on TV and smile inside knowing you’ll never own any those products. Then, before you know it, you start getting a little older. Suddenly, the prospect of something like that happening to you starts becoming a reality. But you tell yourself there’s still no way it could happen to you. You convince yourself to the point of denial. Then one day…it does. And today, it happened to me.


There is a minivan parked in my driveway. Oh the shame…the horror. But it’s not mine. I’m just letting a friend of mine who lives in a bad neighborhood and is out of the country park it there indefinitely. Honest.

Asshattedness, Thy Name Is Egeland

As everyone knows by now, there was a huge earthquake that caused a tsunami in Asia that has killed, at last count, over 50,000 people. This is a huge tragedy which I feel will only get worse once disease starts setting in. I sincerely hope that does not happen, but it is a distinct possibility that must be anticipated and dealt with. My prayers are with everyone over there.


I am saddened by this event, but I am also mad. You know why? Because of the asshat pictured to the left. His name is Jan Egeland, and he is the UN undersecretary general for humanitarian affairs and emergency relief coordinator. He had the gall to say that the United States (and other Western nations) are being “stingy” with relief money. He proposed that we raise our taxes so that more money would be available for relief efforts. After a tongue-lashing by Colin Powell and others informing him that the US is indeed the greatest supplier of relief on the planet, he has now retracted that statement, but too late, it’s already out there.


Now if I were President right now, here’s what would happen. Any outstanding dues the US owes the UN would be immediately forwarded to Asia, the UN would never see that money. Next, I would send troops into the UN building and arrest any and all UN officials that might have had a hand in the oil for food scandal and send them to a federal prison. On second thought, that would be too good for them. The damage done was to the the Iraqi people, I’d ship them to an Iraqi prison and send Lindy England to watch over them. Then an Iraqi court could try them. In a few years or so. After that, there would be a wrecking crew showing up at the UN building to demolish it. That’s right, no more UN headquarters in New York, find a piece of land elsewhere to run your corrupt schemes from. New York could use a nice water park. Next, arrest any UN diplomat with unpaid parking tickets. There’s probably millions of dollars worth of uncollected parking tickets due to “diplomatic immunity”. No more. You’re under arrest until you pay up. All that money goes to Asia as well.


So take what we’re giving and have a nice tall glass of shut the hell up. And be thankful I’m not President.

100 Things About Me

Yeah, like I have time for that

Now That Christmas Is Over

What are the libs to do? Oh yeah, start attacking Easter. Found this on a blog that won’t get a link from me:


They went to the cave where Jesus had been buried. The huge rock that had blocked the door of the cave was rolled away.

And Lo, the Lord saith,
“Fuck you morons! You guys were a lot of help when my ass was fucking nailed to the cross!
Kiss my ass and roll that rock back!”

Nice.


UPDATE: More:


Okay, first thing is we have to secularize the day. I used to mortally offend church-going friends by referring to Good Friday as “Happy Dead Guy On A Stick Day”.

Ah, the party of “tolerance”…


UPDATE II: Even more:

Jesus died for our sins, right? And all good Christians will be resurrected and get to rule the world with Him, right? So why don’t we just kill all the Christians and then say we’re really sorry that we sinned, but we’re really glad Jesus got nailed to that tree so can we please go to Heaven with all the dead Christians?

And let’s not forget…

“Jesus is risen”

Can I suck him off?

Party of tolerance indeed…